Friday, April 6, 2007
Chhote chhote shehron se
... hum to jhola utha ke chale. Job dhoondne.
There is a steady trickle of young people leaving their small town homes. First, in search of education. And then, for jobs.
At the time of education, things are relatively simple. Many colleges provide a hostel facility - or there are hostel-like/ paying guest options. Students passing out almost 'hand down' such acco to incoming batches.
But what happens when you come to a city like Mumbai or Delhi, in search of a job? This can take time - a few weeks at the very least. In that case, many of you will end up staying with either a friend, or relative.
Now in India we have a long and established tradition of hospitality. Aapko rarely hi koi 'na' kahega.
However as the weeks wear by, your host may get anxious. They may get the feeling that you are expecting to stay with them - for the long term. And well, if that is what you have in mind you need to clarify - "Is it ok with you?"
Because it is one thing to be a 'guest' and another to become a part of the family. The difference between a tourist and a 'green card' holder!
Even if you are really close to the person you're staying with, it's your duty to bring up this topic and settle it. Because the host is usually uncomfortable doing so.
I would think that given the small size of homes, the busy schedules people have and/ or their need for privacy, a long-term arrangement is not a good idea for either side. Your freedom may be curbed, their way of life may get upset. So don't out stay your welcome - find alternate accomodation, or promise to as soon as you get a job.
There are any number of hostels/ PGs/ share-a-flat arrangements for folks like you. Visit once in a while, when you crave home food or just feel like hanging out with family. Or, in case of a real emergency.
Blood is thicker than water, but modern life has made us all a bit anaemic. You don't want to be seen as a leech!
There is a steady trickle of young people leaving their small town homes. First, in search of education. And then, for jobs.
At the time of education, things are relatively simple. Many colleges provide a hostel facility - or there are hostel-like/ paying guest options. Students passing out almost 'hand down' such acco to incoming batches.
But what happens when you come to a city like Mumbai or Delhi, in search of a job? This can take time - a few weeks at the very least. In that case, many of you will end up staying with either a friend, or relative.
Now in India we have a long and established tradition of hospitality. Aapko rarely hi koi 'na' kahega.
However as the weeks wear by, your host may get anxious. They may get the feeling that you are expecting to stay with them - for the long term. And well, if that is what you have in mind you need to clarify - "Is it ok with you?"
Because it is one thing to be a 'guest' and another to become a part of the family. The difference between a tourist and a 'green card' holder!
Even if you are really close to the person you're staying with, it's your duty to bring up this topic and settle it. Because the host is usually uncomfortable doing so.
I would think that given the small size of homes, the busy schedules people have and/ or their need for privacy, a long-term arrangement is not a good idea for either side. Your freedom may be curbed, their way of life may get upset. So don't out stay your welcome - find alternate accomodation, or promise to as soon as you get a job.
There are any number of hostels/ PGs/ share-a-flat arrangements for folks like you. Visit once in a while, when you crave home food or just feel like hanging out with family. Or, in case of a real emergency.
Blood is thicker than water, but modern life has made us all a bit anaemic. You don't want to be seen as a leech!
Comments:
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isnt this very basic common sense or very basic manner?
i think you missed a point when your host is so close with you that he himself really wants you to stay with him - (so moving to a hostel/pg is not an option). even in this case you should be contributing to family expenses directly (by either asking the host and giving him money on monthly basis, not possible in many cases) or indirectly (while coming back from work bring vegetables ... or even samosas, jalebis!! contributing to evening snacks and utter happiness.)
again this is very basic common sense or very basic manner
i think you missed a point when your host is so close with you that he himself really wants you to stay with him - (so moving to a hostel/pg is not an option). even in this case you should be contributing to family expenses directly (by either asking the host and giving him money on monthly basis, not possible in many cases) or indirectly (while coming back from work bring vegetables ... or even samosas, jalebis!! contributing to evening snacks and utter happiness.)
again this is very basic common sense or very basic manner
Common sense is not as common a commodity as you think! Believe me, there are many oblivious young people and many hosts struggling with this dilemma... Even as I write this!
it isnt the thing you really imagine, but in practical life its different, so be careful after your studies
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